A letter from the Chair and Vice Chair of the Haringey Parent Carer Forum
- By Brian Leveson
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- 09 Mar, 2022
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We publish a letter sent to members of the parent carer forum and remind the Chair, Vice Chair and Steering Group members of what their 'ground rules' are - and that the best way forward is to lead by example.
Letter from the Chair and Vice Chair of the Haringey Parent Carer Forum
Dear meeting attendees
We are writing about last night’s Parent Carer Forum Meeting.
Through these meetings, we aim for everyone who attends to be able to participate equally in a safe and supportive environment. Our aim is to be a safe, respectful, non-judgemental and inclusive forum with a focus on working towards positive change in a co-productive way.
We went through some ground rules at the beginning of the meeting with a view to establishing this. Unfortunately, the ground rules were not adhered to by some members.
We really apologise for this, as I know several of you were upset and distressed, as were we.
Before meeting again, we will clarify the ground rules, and seek agreement from members that they will abide by them.
If members are not prepared to agree to abide by the ground rules, unfortunately they will not be able to participate in the meetings.
We remain committed to working with parents/carers and service providers to influence positive change for our children, and to have productive meetings in which a range of parents / carers feel confident to express their views.
Kind regards,
[Chair and Vice Chair]
The ground rules as set by the Steering Group of the Haringey Parent Carer Forum - circulated 19th January 2022
Meeting ground rules
· Be respectful of each other and each other’s views/opinions.
· One voice at a time.
· Raise your hand.
· In virtual meetings, please mute yourself unless you are speaking.
· Be mindful of how you speak to everyone.
· No judgement
Suggestions from the Difficult Parent, who was witness to the incidents in the meeting
- Lead by example and ensure that the rules are adhered to by Chair, Vice Chair and Steering Group members (all self selected and voted in by each other).
- Draft 'ground rules' with the membership, not dictating from above (not co-production).
- Ask about how to make meetings inclusive, not dictating times and venues from above (not co-production and not inclusion).
- The Steering Group Members should not comment on, challenge or deny the lived experiences of other parents. (not co-production and not being representative of parents)
- If the Chair, Vice Chair or Steering Group members insisting upon judging, commenting on and making accusations in a meeting, it is only 'natural justice' that the person accused has a right to reply and that this not be stopped, inhibited or prevented by the Chair, Vice-Chair and Steering Group. (Unjust and it comes across as bullying to the recipient and impartial observers)
- Recognise that some services and policies from the council disproportionately impact on some SEND families and it is not always appropriate to deny people impacted by a particular policy or policy failing to not speak because they have already spoken. (Not co-production, not representative and a denial of a legal obligation to be pan-disability to get funding for the forum).
- Recognise that because of how the Parent Carer Forum was formed (day time meetings, not three weeks notice, papers not shared and no public scrutiny of the process), the membership of those in leadership positions is skewed away from families where there are children with complex needs or whose parents work. (Not co-production, not representative and a denial of a legal obligation to be pan-disability to get funding for the forum).
And so our response is that by not recognising in this letter that from the outset the Chair and Vice Chair failed to follow the 'ground rules', which were subsequently broken by 'some of the steering group members', the Chair and Vice Chair have slandered 'some members' of the forum through the writing of this letter.
